I forgot that I started this. I have a tendency to do that- begin something that I think I'll like, and then just forget that I was interested. Exhibit A- my garden. I live on the third floor of our building and have a great deck out front. Our first year in our new home, I insisted that we get a few pots so that I could plant a garden. It was really beautiful- I loved leaving our curtains open so that I could see the flowers when we were in our living room. That is, of course, until I killed them all. I just never watered them. I forgot.
I forget a lot of things. At work, a few people (especially my wonderful assistant) always make fun of me because i forget EVERYTHING. It only takes a few seconds- someone will ask me to bring them something, and as soon as I leave the room I forget my main objective and go on doing something completely different than what I was going to do. When it comes to important things, I need to write it down, or else it doesn't get done.
It's like I only use half my brain sometimes. I lose everything that isn't attached to me. My father's favorite quote, I'm convinced, is "Tiffany, open your eyes and pay attention". (As I typed that, I can literally hear his voice and see his face, full of frustration with me). I've always had this little "problem". Luckily, I've married a man who has more patience than any person I've ever met, and who has only been married to me long enough to think that my forgetfulness is charming. I would be lost without him- and I certainly wouldn't ever be able to find my car key!
I need to really start becoming more aware of what is going on around me. I feel like this problem is a catalyst for my lack of commitment to myself. I able to shrug off my lack of motivation and blame it on my forgetfulness. Yes- I am forgetful, and I probably always will be. But, it's not an excuse for "forgetting" that I am on a diet and not eating properly. It's not an excuse for "forgetting" that I didn't hit the snooze button so that I could get some exercise in before my day starts. I need to take full control over myself. It's okay for me that I am a disaster, but its not okay with me that I am unhealthy. I have been doing well since my last post- unfortunately, I haven't lost any weight, but I am more active. Not necessarily physically active, but active nonetheless. I've started a book club, I'm taking cake lessons, Rich and i completed an 8 week Ballroom Dancing class. I'm living and loving my life, and I'm done with letting my weight stop me from realizing my dreams. And my dreams aren't something that I can easily forget.
